How to enjoy sexuality after 60 years?

Sex in adults over 60 years of age is sometimes a taboo subject or even enjoys a certain invisibility when it is assumed that sexual relations decrease with age. On the other hand, the experts consulted by CuídatePlus maintain that it is possible to enjoy sexuality from the age of 60, always adapting sexual relations to the situation of each person. “It is important not to give up this dimension of life thinking that it is something only for young people, or that it is something that is no longer relevant at certain ages. We are sexual beings, it is an aspect of life that remains until the end and adapting to the decrease in physical abilities, or the possible appearance of some diseases that may affect sexual performance, can be enjoyed until the end”, explains Feliciano Villar, Professor of Evolutionary Psychology of the Department of Cognition, Development and Educational Psychology of the University of Barcelona and member of the Leadership Team of the Spanish Association of Geriatrics and Gerontology (SEGG).

In this regard, Jesús E. Rodríguez, director of the Murcian Sexological Institute (ISM), emphasizes that to enjoy sex from the age of 60 it is necessary to subtract prominence from the genitals and be aware that there is no scientific evidence indicating that age is as an obstacle to having a full and satisfying sexual life. "In addition, we have many tools to solve the difficulties that can arise at these ages both in the psychosocial field and in terms of health problems, therefore, age is not a reason to stop enjoying sex," says Rodríguez. "It is important to bear in mind that sexuality is much more than having sexual relations with a partner with penetration: the repertoire of ways to give and receive pleasure is much broader than just penetration, both as a couple and alone," adds Villar. Regarding masturbation, the member of the SEGG points out that it allows you to continue enjoying the sexual dimension present in every human being, regardless of whether or not you have a partner.

Likewise, both experts agree that having an active sexual life after 60 has health benefits and is even associated with a longer life expectancy. "We have sufficient scientific evidence to affirm that an active sexual life at these ages is synonymous with a higher level of physical and mental health, and therefore with a higher quality of life in general," says Rodríguez. Along the same lines, Villar comments that “the benefits of an active and satisfactory sexual life are accredited in physical aspects and, above all, in psychological aspects (self-esteem, satisfaction with life) and psychosocial (satisfaction with life in couple)".

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Tips to enjoy sex for him and for her

When it comes to having a full sexuality from the age of 60, the recommendations always vary depending on the specific situation of each person, although it is true that there are guidelines linked to sexual problems and cultural beliefs that affect men and women. For this reason, Villar considers that it is necessary to get rid of the stereotypes and cultural conceptions that can be limiting and, often, are frequent in the older generations. "In the case of men, the belief that they always have to be ready can make certain changes in sexual relations be experienced as a failure", he comments on popular beliefs about sex and continues: "In women, to think that they cannot be active in the sexual sphere or experience sexuality more as an obligation than as a space for enjoyment, intimacy and communication”.

At this point, the director of the ISM recommends that, for men to enjoy sex from the age of 60, "it is important to give them confidence, the fear of not being able to maintain a complete sexual relationship at this age is common, and this alone is capable of seriously affecting sexual life and even making us give it up”. In addition, this expert comments that sexuality in men can sometimes be affected by certain health problems or medical treatments. "It is very difficult for men to ask for help or consult their doctor, when in most cases they are difficulties that can be resolved effectively thanks to advances in sexual medicine," argues Rodríguez.

In the case of women, the sexologist comments that "the deterioration of the marital relationship due to the monotony of the sexual relationship and the lack of communication among others are frequent factors at these ages and they should not settle for this situation, once again it is important to ask for professional help, or even in some cases to make difficult decisions”. Likewise, Rodríguez points out that the lack of a partner is one of the main causes of sexual abstinence at these ages in the case of them, so that it is necessary to end social prejudices about the fact that a mature woman looks for a new partner . "There are also fears in women that must be worked on at these ages, for example, the fear of not liking her partners due to the physical changes of aging," he concludes.