Emotional dependence, how it affects our relationship with others

Personal relationships (partners, friends, work, etc.) are necessary and provide great benefits. It is normal to seek emotional support and help from our loved ones at certain times. Emotional dependency, however, goes beyond this foothold.

Remorse, when does guilt become a problem and what can be done?

In general, it is not usually due to a single factor, but rather arises and is maintained due to several causes. In many cases it is not even a conscious reality. Unlike. The person who is emotionally dependent thinks that the problems have a different and often external origin.

What is emotional dependency?

Behind these two terms, a permanent and excessive affective bond with another person is defined. It is a strong attachment that occurs in relationships with others and can cause real suffering. Although it occurs mainly in couples, it can also occur in any other type of relationship.

Affective dependence designates a phenomenon of psychological inability to live by and for oneself. It is associated, above all, with low self-esteem and can cover up affective deficiencies in childhood. In this type of relationship, the feeling of attachment and subordination prevails, with the consequent negative emotional consequences.

The results of a study show that emotional dependency is negatively related to self-esteem and positively related to anxious-depressive symptomatology.

In this type of relationship, psychological dependence is "normal", there is an asymmetry of roles and disproportionate and inadequate behaviors are developed to satisfy the need for affection.

How can we recognize the problem of emotional dependence?

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Like any other mental health disorder, emotional dependency is invisible and difficult to detect because there are no obvious physical symptoms. We can often confuse our feelings of dependency with feelings of love or attraction.

If these feelings are not properly identified, they can lose all their authenticity and become harmful. In general, symptoms such as the following usually appear:

Emotional dependence mainly affects vulnerable, hypersensitive people who lack self-confidence. Depending on other people often gives them the feeling of being safe in a bubble that creates security. But what they have really created is a kind of prison in which they remain locked up.

Ways to overcome emotional dependence

Emotional dependence is not something irreversible, that is, it can be cured. But to overcome it, it is necessary to recognize and accept it. It can be done through personal development work with therapeutic support, which can be useful in guiding the person on this path.

Because the main problem of the "emotional addict" is the lack of self-confidence: he mistakenly thinks that nobody loves him as he is and that he must live through the other.

First, therefore, you have to love yourself to be successful with other types of relationships (family, friendship, partner, etc.). He must identify his unmet needs, especially those he seeks to nurture through the love of others, and identify where those needs come from. It is important to pay attention to how you feel, a work of introspection and discovery of oneself.

In most cases, the needs are for love, for recognition, to be loved and recognized in personal and professional life. And to overcome this, the key is to set limits, which forces you to get to know yourself better. The more we know ourselves, the more we can identify our needs.

The goal of therapy is generally focused on helping the person to recognize the problem, abandon any toxic relationship they have, find the causes and treat them so that the same pattern is not repeated in new relationships that are created.

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