Fatphobia, when the hatred of the fat person is disguised as concern

Puta, sudaca, fagot, loca, negro, bollera, moro, enano, gorda... what do these words have in common? Are they insults? No, no, they are, but they are used as such and all of them (and more) point to people our society discriminates against; but it is that, in addition, they indicate the exact quality for which they are discriminated against. A quality that breaks with the imposed stereotype and, therefore, goes beyond the norm. That departure from the norm is perceived as something reprehensible. We live in a society that humiliates, makes invisible, mistreats, ridicules, excludes and violates a group of people for having a certain physical characteristic: fatness. We live in a fat-phobic society, in which fat people are discriminated against for the mere fact of being so. Magdalena Piñeyro, in her book Ten cries against fatphobia, explains that oppression is omnipresent, it occupies all spaces, all the time. Men and women suffer it, "It's for your health", "You're so pretty", "Won't you go eat that?" They are phrases that they hear every day; their family hides their food from them and in the middle of the sexual prelude they say "But I'll get on top". Then there are the false stereotypes that blame the fat person, since, for fat-phobic society, if you deviate from the norm and are fat, it is your fault: they are labeled stupid, clumsy, lazy, scruffy and lacking in will.

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Omnipresent oppression

Fatophobia is an omnipresent oppression: it occupies all spaces, all the time. Fat people suffer from it twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. At home, on the street, at the doctor, at work, with all the limitations that this implies and with the full weight of discrimination falling on them. Fatphobia is a form of social violence that places fat people in a place of vulnerability, fat bodies are considered to be unhealthy, incapable, unpleasant or neglected and this fosters a stigma that manifests itself in experiences of limitation of people in the different spheres –affective, sexual, work…– of their lives. The devil is in the details and the life of the fat person is full of small –and not so small– difficulties: It is difficult to find large sizes, fat people are looked down on on buses –whether they sit down or give up their place– their Opinions in companies are always questioned, doctors attribute any health problem they have to their fatness.

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Billy Eilish is someone who knows about fatphobia, he has spent his whole life receiving reproaches about his appearance , the size of it. The video clip Not my responsibility addresses the subject with great mastery. He talks about the importance of not judging the body of others and the terrible situation in which people often create perceptions of someone based solely on their body measurements."You have opinions about my opinions, about my music, about my clothes, on my body. Some people hate the clothes I wear, others love them, others use them to embarrass me... But I feel you always watching me. Nothing I do goes unnoticed, so I feel your stares, your disapproval or your sighs of relief. If I depended on them, I would never be able to move. Would you like to see me smaller? Weak? Fragile? Tall? Would you like to see me quiet? Do my shoulders provoke you? Does my chest? Am I my gut? My hip? The body I was born with, isn't that what you wanted? If I wear what's comfortable, I'm not a woman. If I take off my layers, I'm a whore. Even if you've never seen my body, you judge it and you judge me by it. Why do you assume things according to the size of people?" The video concludes with Billie singing, "Is my value based on your perception? Is that opinion about me? It's not my responsibility."

Fatphobia in men and women

Men and women suffer from it, but women more. I get in touch with the Stop Fatphobia platform through their Facebook account. Immediately Carmen Godina answers me. She is the one who tells me that she doesn't know if there are more women than men who suffer from fatphobia, but it seems that women are more active and get more involved. "Although a fat person is still badly considered, there is a certain tolerance. It is not that all fatness is allowed in men, it is not that either, but at least a few more sizes are given a margin. In women there is no such margin , while they have to be strong and theoretically virile, we have to be weak, salvageable and take up little space," Godina tells me. "Capitalism and heteropatriarchy go hand in hand to submit our physiques under aesthetic pressure. A type of body and/or masculinity is also required of a man, but while they are subjects of power we are objects of desire."

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Another activist, Claudia Jimeno, explained something similar to me, "Fat men don't they are objects of consumption, and therefore they do not worry so much", he points out. In women the question of gender is added to the question of weight. Aesthetic pressure has been a continuous debate in feminism and a very useful tool of patriarchal domination. "If we are focused on pleasing the male gaze, we are not operative to talk about rights or vindicate ourselves," Godina explains to me. The fat woman is an aesthetic challenge to masculinity and in a certain way, it seems that she is less of a woman because of it. For the heteronormativity, the fat woman has always been read as the male's last sexual resource, as something he doesn't like but that can at least serve as an object. You can have sex with them, even love them, but you never expose yourself publicly. And he emphasizes: "That is why many relationships remain underground, in that invisible space where the man does not receive the classic: «What are you doing with a fat woman? Are you so desperate? »".

The fact is that there are men who suffer from fatphobia, although not as severely as women. One of them is Ibai Llanos, and he explains it without mincing words and with that direct language that he always uses.

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Fatphobia and masculinity

For the standard, for the collective ideology, fat men are considered less manly in the collective ideology. In men, especially in cis men, fatphobia manifests itself in this rejection of a rounded body that can be a bit feminine, because there are wide breasts or hips. Also because the male genitalia are still another sign of his masculinity, and often the joke revolves around "Where's your penis?" and its size. "I wonder if there is also machismo and even transphobia in this: is a fat man a bit of a fat woman? Is a fat man a body not defined in the male-female gender?", Godina explains to me. "I have the impression that in men fatness is a little more pampered, in the sense that a big man with a certain belly is even attractive if we look at it from the heteronormative prism, in a woman that is unthinkable. "A strong man" In front of "a fat woman" it always looks better". Godina knows what she is talking about, as a social educator that she is, she contacted 12 fat men to see how they lived with fatphobia. He came to the conclusion in his study that men, especially cis men, prefer to live their wounds in silence, so as not to be marked as sensitive.

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"I care about your health"

Of all the phrases fat people hear, this is the one that irritates them the most, and rightly so. Jimeno tells me: "When a friend who is blind from drinks, or from other things, tells me about my health, it bursts me. "Come on, my health! And yours?", and when it is a stranger I don't even tell you anymore, "My health"; if you don't even know my name, how are you going to worry about my health? And he continues, "My physical health, and my mental health, what?" According to Magdalena Piñeyro, the supposed interest in health is the greatest of hypocrisies: one day she received a very revealing message on Twitter: "Get thin, you disgusting fucking fat bitch. It's for your health!" More than offensive, it is laughable for this clumsy attempt to end a fat-phobic message with an inexcusable justification.

Doctors worry about obesity. Sometimes they worry so much that their obsession tarnishes their professional zeal. At Stop Fatphobia they have gathered lots of cases (some as serious as knee necrosis) in which a pathology was misdiagnosed or diagnosed late because all pain is always attributed to excess weight. Another testimony: "You go because your ear hurts and, without looking at you, they ask you to go on a diet."

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Hypocrisy is more present than ever when health is used as an argument to justify fatphobia. Yes, obesity has terrible consequences, but no one accuses those who promote unhealthy habits, such as consuming alcohol, or those who put all that sugar and excipients in ultra-processed products. This is what I call blaming the victim. Many are obese because of Coca-Cola, frozen pizza, French fries and all the junk food that is continually offered to us.

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It is also important to note that eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are the product of fatphobia, not fatness, not fat men, but this hatred of fat people, this pathological aversion to fat, from that belief established by society that you have to be young and handsome or, if not, at least be thin.

Interestingly, many fat men and women are vegan, and have a very balanced diet. But the fatophobia is there; If you see him eat a salad, the first thing you sometimes think is: "Who is the fat lady kidding?"

We are all fatphobes

I ask Godino if there is any way to know if one is fatphobic (or fatphobe, both terms are accepted), some kind of self-test. "All people are fatphobic to one degree or another. Me too. Accepting that and going from there is important," he replies. Jimeno tells me that all fat people would prefer to be thin, "whoever says otherwise is lying," she affirms very emphatically. Many overweight people spend their lives wanting to lose the extra pounds they think they have, and come to believe that life will only start later: they will wear sexy clothes, they will find love, they will be happy and beautiful. They assume that their body is their worst enemy and their biggest failure. They are fat fatphobes. You have to lose your fear of being fat and stop marginalizing fat people, accept yourself as you are. That's where happiness begins.

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Examples of fatphobia that perhaps you hadn't noticed

- Fat is a disease.

- The opinion of a fat person must be validated by another thinner person.

- The media bombardment on miracle diets, slimming creams, with things like "that extra belly", "those extra kilos" or "the bikini operation".

- Plus size clothing is much more expensive.

- Plus size clothing is dark and covers the body a lot.

- Taking it for granted if someone is with a fat person is because they haven't found someone better.

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- Treating fat people like "care bears" in a condescending manner. An example: the actress Rebel Wilson has confessed that one of the reasons why she has lost weight is to be taken seriously, because, of course, a fat actress can only be a comedian, "It's okay to be a comedian, but it's as if there would be no other possible scenario for us," she declared.

- Looking badly at fat people who travel sitting on public transport: if they are not occupying a space for the elderly or people with functional diversity, they are not doing anything wrong. There is always an attitude of disapproval, something like: "The fat woman is already doing nothing."

- To think that fat people only do sports to lose weight. If you are fat you can walk, swim, go to the gym, play volleyball... for the pleasure of doing it. Fat people don't always exercise to lose weight, they also enjoy a Zumba class the most, not assuming that, since they are fat, they will suffer from physical activity.

- For fat-phobic attitudes, you just have to see most of the comments to Esty Quesada alias, I'm a loser, for her monologue at the Feroz Awards ceremony last week:

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One last thought that I take from Pyñeiro's book: "It doesn't matter if a fat woman is healthy or sick. She doesn't deserve to be discriminated against. It doesn't matter if the reason for her fatness is that she has anxiety, is sunk in depression, has a hormonal problem, is undergoing chemotherapy or simply eats “badly”. She doesn't deserve to be discriminated against It doesn't matter two cucumbers if she's a fat woman who hates sports or is a great Olympian. She doesn't deserve to be discriminated against. It doesn't matter if her favorite food is a hamburger or a salad, if she uses a wheelchair or jogs, if she likes to play video games or prefers to dance. She doesn't deserve to be discriminated against, under no circumstances." I subscribe to your words. One by one.

Fat Activism

Fatophobia is like racism, machismo or homophobia, like any other form of oppression and discrimination. We must fight against it, apply a zero tolerance policy, as is done with homophobic, racist and sexist jokes. For that, you have to read, find out, get involved. Thin people have no idea of ​​the suffering that a part of society suffers, just because their bodies do not follow the norm, the pre-established canon of beauty – and unattainable for the majority of the population. We are not aware of the damage we do with our fat-phobic comments, no matter how good our intention.

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Culture is the best tool to fight discrimination, always. Magda Piñeyro's book Ten cries against fatphobia is a reference. Another is the FB, Instagram and Twiiter pages of Stop Gordofobia. But there is also a huge bibliography and community to fight fatphobia. The best way to fight is to inform yourself. I highlight Empowered Bodies, Fat Pride, Fat! Zine. Fats with a soul, Fat Podcast, FEA Editorial, You have the right to remain fat by Silvia Tovar, The body is not an apology by Sonya Renne Taylor, Hambre by Roxane Gay or La cerda punk by constanzx alvarez castillo (in lowercase like that, because she wants it ).

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